Question and Answer on St. Peter Plans

I’ve been emailing, facebooking, twittering, blogging and all other kinds of crapping there ever was online and I still haven’t sold a single casket. WHY Oh WHY? My mom has been nagging me to work on my public relation skills that I ended up buying another casket for myself.

So, what am I supposed to do with 2 Caskets when there’s only one PRETTY ME??? Just so you know, Casket = Money but maybe I’ll divulge that secret in another post later on. Maybe not!

Anyway, I thought to summarize all the questions that people have thrown at me with regards to my casket business:

Question:
WHY should I buy your plan?

Answer:
Death is inevitable. If you don’t have a plan, you’ll end up throwing away as much as 50,000 pesos. But if you have a plan, funeral service might just be for FREE!

Question:
Free Funeral Service? How is that possible?

Answer:
For the cheapest NON-TRADITIONAL plan, contract price is 34,200 pesos. On the 16th – 20th year, you’ll get the 34,200 pesos back + funeral service. It’s like a time deposit except that the interest comes in the form of funeral service.

Question:
What if the plan holder dies and plan hasn’t been fully paid yet?

Answer:
If plan holder dies after a year since purchasing the plan, it will be considered as fully paid and the plan holder will get the full funeral service. Also, listed beneficiaries in his contract will get cash assistance by as much as 30,000 pesos.

If plan holder dies less than a year since purchasing the plan, family members would have to pay the remaining balance but at least it’s much lesser than paying the service in lump sum.

Question:
The amount 34,200 pesos is a bit heavy on our budget. Can I pay on installment instead?

Answer:
We offer discount for spot cash. One can also choose to pay annually, semi-annually or even monthly. Annually payment would be 34,200 divided by 5 years. For monthly payments, it’s 650 pesos.

Question:
What does this plan entails?

Answer:
Embalmment, 4 days stay in the chapel with wifi video streaming and all other amenities/decorations necessary for the wake.

Question:
Can I buy plan in Cebu for my parents who live in Bohol?

Answer:
Of course. St. Peter Funeral service is countrywide. Anytime, anywhere, you can rely on St. Peter.

Question:
Do I need medical certificate as proof of having a clean bill of health?

Answer:
It’s not necessary. One only needs to be less than 60 years of age.

If you got more questions, just buzz me and I’ll answer as soon as able.

St Peter DeathCare Week- Life Run 2

In celebration of the St. Peter DeathCare Week, mom signed us up for its Life Run 2 held today at AsiaTown I.T. Park. We were supposed to run the 5 KM challenge but I was screeching so bad that she changed it to 3KM run instead. I’ve run 5KM last year and I’m not doing that ever again because I really felt like I’m going to die during that event.  I’m not yet ready to use my casket thank you very much.

So, my ass got dragged at 4:30 AM and reached the venue just in time for the warm-up. Check out mom in action:

Soon after the warm-up, 10K runners had their gun start followed by 5K and then us, the 3K runners which is mostly made up of parents running with their kids, runners in halloween costumes and people who aren’t that physically active in sports like me.

Here are some of the people in costumes with special mention of Twinkle Ignacio. If you’ve been on several fun run already, it’s hard not to notice this woman because she won most of the race wearing costumes that were all made by her. Isn’t that cool?

Today she won 3rd place wearing a flowery headdress.  Later on, she changed to another costume again because there’s another fun run held later in memory of Melinda Ponce, who was killed along with her 3 children by her husband who also shot himself afterwards.

Twinkle Ignacio

How did I complete the 3K race? I jogged only a few meters after the start gun and when the finish lane was visible to me. The rest of the journey was spent walking and taking pictures of the interesting things I saw along the way

The fun run cost us 200 pesos and we get a singlet, a snack (consist of banana, hard boiled egg, sandwich and water), free photo booth pictures and umbrella in return. Not bad at all considering that proceeds of the fun run will be used to provide school bags to thousands of public school children. It’s nice to run for a worthy cause.

The winner of St. Peter’s Life Run 2 gets to take home this one shiny pink casket.

Care to be the winner of this race?

Trip to UK and Butongan

Weekends is usually spent walking with mom in search of casket customers or to collect payments from planholders. I love doing this although it could be a bit tiring being under the heat of the sun (bad for the skin) because I get to bond with mom, get a good walking exercise, gives me the opportunity to see several interesting things I wouldn’t normally see in my own daily routine and get feed by mom so I save money.

Yesterday was a trip to Butongan in Carbon Market. Butongan from the word Butong (coconut) is where the coconut business thrive. With the recent increase of export demand for coconuts in America, the price of coconut in carbon market has risen from 10 pesos to 15 pesos per piece. Mom is a bit crazy with coconut juice because she believes it helps keep kidney healthy so she’s been complaining about this price increase for days now.

If you noticed the guy in white shirt behind the motorcycle man, he’s preparing coconut juice mix with milk in plastic cup which is then sold for 10 – 15 pesos per cup.  It’s not a very nice place to be mixing drinks so if you are a bit paranoid with bacteria, you might want to get your coconut juice straight from the husk.

Next trip is to UK for short or Ukay-ukay for long. This is a place where second hand items from other countries are being dumped in Philippines and sold for as low as 3 pieces for 100 pesos only. Ukay means to scour which is what you will be doing in this place to be able to find a good item that doesn’t look too worn out. Some people shop in bulk here and sell it elsewhere especially in small towns for 50 pesos each.

That’s it for now folks until my next casket walk adventure.

Sideline Reminder

Managers,

In as much as we would try to understand the “need” of our associates, who are selling different merchandise/food items inside the office to earn additional income, please remind them that doing it during office hours is a violation of our company code under Neglect of duty.

A gentle reminder.

Human Resource Manager

But, I’m not displaying any of my funeral caskets in the office. Promise!

- Love2Type, part-time casket vendor

Van from Hell

One of the public transport available in the Philippines is what we call a jeepney, smaller version of open-air bus where the current minimum fare in Cebu City is 7.50 pesos (0.13 Euro). If you don’t care to get to your destination smelling smog and looking as if you’ve just been electrocuted with your hair standing in every direction, V-hire or Van 4 hire is another option.

Although V-hire costs a bit more compared to a jeepney, I still choose to take one every night from work because it’s a comfortable and air-conditioned ride. Last night however, I was the only passenger in a fully-enclosed van.

I was enjoying the music being played inside the van when the driver suddenly turned to a deserted road that is definitely not it’s normal route. Surprised, I asked the driver where we are going and he said that the main street is filled with traffic enforcer so he’s taking a shortcut.

Paranoia started kicking in and I thought that the driver has several male accomplices waiting somewhere that will get inside the van and gang rape me. After texting the van’s plate number to my friend, here are the things that crossed my mind.

1. I believe in Jesus and I’m going to Heaven when I die.

2. I already bought a coffin from St. Peter Funeral Homes and my mom  knew that I wanted my coffin to be orange in color. My mom will be 30,000 pesos richer then from St. Peter.

3. I will not die without giving a good fight. I don’t know how many times I cleared my throat to make sure my voice box was still in good order while I massaged my fingers in preparation for my upcoming scratch fight.

I was so busy thinking of possible strategies to survive the night when the driver suddenly laughed and asked: Are you nervous?

And then he made another turn back to the main street that’s filled with other vehicles and people.

Whewww!

I guess I’ll not be making a trip to heaven just yet.